Closure
by Drake Roberts
Summary: Post Chosen, the bus had to stop somewhere. Here's how I pictured it, and what happened next.
1. Aftermath

Title: Closure

Author: Drake Roberts

Rating: R, mostly for Faith and Dawn's language. But nothing too emotionally scarring, I promise.

Disclaimer: What do you mean these characters belong to someone else? What are they doing in my head then? Ok, ok. I'll give them back after I'm done. Thanks for the great show that gets my brain to working Mutant Enemy.

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters of Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Angel. You really don't want to sue me. I have no money, and you cannot have my oversized Xander T-shirt.

Author's Note: I really should be working on _Outside Humanity_ but this idea has been bouncing around in my head ever since I watched the finales of Buffy and Angel. This demonic bunny hasn't given me a moment's peace in four months. So, here it goes. Please excuse my insanity.

**********************************************************************************

Xander, beaten and dusty, surveyed the building in front of him. A cold chill crawled up his spine and he shuddered. In high school, he would have pushed aside his sudden case of the heebie jeebies and gone on about his day. But the last seven years had shown him the consequences of such actions. So he made no move to mask his reaction from himself or from the others around him. He was tired of masks.

"What is it?" Dawn asked as she came to stand beside her friend.

Xander continued to stare at the building. "I don't like this place," he answered simply.

"Oh, come on. It's better than the bus. There's firm ground and you've lost the green tinge from the bumpy ride," Dawn argued in an attempt to lighten Xander's mood.

"Something happened here, Dawnie. Something bad." Xander repeated closing his eye. 

Dawn watched him in concern. Ever since his ill fated encounter with Caleb, he'd become quieter. It was completely understandable, but she still worried.

"Xander?"

Xander started slightly at her question and blinked heavily. He turned to her, a half smile on his face. "Don't worry, Dawnie, I'm fine. It's just this place. . . ."

Dawn gave him a smile before tugging lightly on his sleeve. "Come on. If we stand here much longer we're going to miss all the fun." 

With that, the two entered the front lobby of Hyperion Hotel.

* * * * *

"Buffy?" Angel sputtered. "You're here."

"And apparently you've brought friends," Wesley continued.

Buffy shrugged. "So it would seem." She was too tired to offer any kind of witty comeback. After the battle, the bus ride, and finding medical aid for the injured, the last thing the golden haired Slayer wanted to do was explain herself to her ex-boyfriend, despite his genuine concern. "Thanks for the amulet, by the way."

"So it worked?" Angel asked tentatively. "Or do we need to prepare for some unfriendly visitors?"

Buffy smiled sadly. "No, it worked."

Angel frowned. If she'd had the energy, Buffy might have snickered at the bewildered expression that came to his face. "Then, not to be rude, but why are you here?"

Buffy looked at her feet, not exactly sure how to explain the chaos that had been the last twenty four hours. Because of her hesitation, it was Xander, who was just entering with Dawn, who spoke up. "Well, we'd crash at Buff's house, but, you see it's kinda not there anymore. While we were fleeing the sinkhole that once was Sunnyhell, we made a list of every one of our LA friends who owned hotels."

Dawn stood beside her friend and folded her arms across her chest. "It was a really short list. So, you got room for a party of thirty, preferably with cable? There's a new episode of Smallville on tonight."

That statement seemed to snap everyone out of whatever stupor they'd fallen into. The potentials turned Slayers began looking to Buffy, Willow, and Giles for guidance while the members of Angel Investigations started figuring the logistics of harboring over two dozen teenage girls in a hotel that had seen better days. For the first time, Angel saw himself thankful that they'd fixed up the place when Jasmine had first made her appearance. Otherwise, there would have been no way to provide safe living space for so many. Buffy and Willow fell into their leadership roles with the ease of ones accustomed, with Giles not far behind and started assigning roommates, taking a weapon inventory, and sending the more able bodied girls to help unload the bus.

Dawn watched the groups start to break into groups from the background, Xander still at her side. They seemed to have everything handled, so she made no move to volunteer for packing duty. Her entire body ached, and not for the first time, she wished a little of Buffy's healing ability would have been passed along with Buffy's blood when the monks had given her human form.

"Ah, the life of the super powered. I wonder what it's like to fight evil without the accompanying full body sprain," Xander mused.

Dawn shook her head. "Man, it's creepy how you do that."

"Do what?"

"Know exactly what I'm thinking," she answered.

Xander gave a half hearted shrug. "Great minds think alike," he offered, then grimaced. "and ache alike. What say we leave all the heavy lifting to the professionals? I see a really comfy couch right over there with our names on it."

Dawn brightened. "You think there's a TV over there too?"

Xander turned to face her. "This is Deadboy we're talking about here."

The young girl sighed. "I should have known that comfort and entertainment was too much to ask for in one day."

Xander put an arm around Dawn's shoulders. "We're shirking responsibility here, Dawnie. Just go with it."

* * * * *

"Life really sucks, you know?"

"For as long as I can remember," Xander answered. "But you're usually a lot more optimistic. What brought on this revelation?"

"Nothing specific," Dawn responded.

"Lying doesn't suit you, Dawn Patrol. Spill it."

Years of crush-induced observation had made her an expert on all things Xander, and she knew that tone of voice. Once Xander knew something was bothering one of his girls, he didn't let it go. If she refused to answer him, he'd respect her decision. . .for about five minutes. Then he'd drag the answer out of her whether she liked it or not.

She sighed. "We're sitting here staring at the Hyperion's peeling wallpaper instead of talking about what's really on our minds."

"And what is that?" Xander asked.

"The dead," Dawn answered bluntly. "We won, but we paid for it in the blood of our friends. If we don't talk about it, they'll never be mentioned again. I want to remember them, and I know you do too."

There were unshed tears in Xander's remaining eye when he faced Dawn, but a hint of a bittersweet smile touched his lips. "Do you know what I did last night?" Dawn shook her head. "I played D&D until the sun rose. Amanda was a master. Andrew went into the game thinking he'd rule and she crushed him under her thumb like a bug. The look on his face when she obliterated his character was the funniest thing I've seen in years."

Dawn giggled softly. "I would have liked to have seen that."

"By four in the morning, everyone else had crashed; we were the only two left awake. So, we got to talking. Did you know that her parents have been in London for the last four months? They didn't have a clue about anything that was happening in her life."

"I always wondered how she got away with staying with us when she was actually from Sunnydale," Dawn said in a quiet yet stunned voice.

"Yeah," Xander agreed just as quietly. " I wi. . . .I'd like to have known her better."

"I'd like to have known all of them better," Dawn added. Xander nodded in agreement. "All these people shared a house with me for months, and I barely knew some of their names. It should have been different."

"But it wasn't," Xander told her. "And it's no one's fault. Sometimes things just happen too fast for anyone to keep up."

The two sat in silence for a few moments, letting their emotions settle. Both offered up a silent prayer that their newest friend had found a better place, her and all the other barely known Potentials that had briefly entered their lives.

"Anya pulled me aside yesterday afternoon after Buffy's last big hoorah speech."

Xander looked at Dawn curiously. His ex-fiancée hadn't said anything to him about talking to anyone.

"She said that if she was going to go into almost certain death, then she had to impart some of her knowledge to a younger generation, since it was the only form of immortality available to humans. Apparently I'm considered the younger generation."

Xander grinned even as a silent tear slid down his cheek. "What," he stopped, swallowing the lump that had risen in his throat. "What words of wisdom did she impart?"

"She. . . ." Dawn paused, and a grin came to her face. "She gave me the sex talk."

Xander's jaw dropped. He really should have seen that coming. He'd almost married the woman, after all. Dawn saw the young man's expression and laughed out loud, though the sound was filled with the weight of unshed tears.

"She pulled me into my room, sat me on my bed, and point-blank asked me what I wanted to know about sex. I was so shocked that all I could do was stare. None of you had even acknowledged the fact that I was old enough to know what sex was, much less discuss it with me. It took me a full minute to realize she was serious."

"What did you tell her?" Xander asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

"I told her the truth," Dawn answered. "I wanted to know everything. And she told me. We talked for nearly two hours. When I asked her about blowjobs, she didn't act like I was some kind of slut for being curious. I asked her if she'd ever been tied up during sex, and without blinking an eye, she shared a couple of her more adventurous times in bed. She answered everything so matter of fact that I forgot to be embarrassed and asked any question that popped into my head. And she answered every one of them with more honesty than Buffy ever would if I'd have asked her about it."

Dawn stopped suddenly, wiping her eyes. "After about an hour and a half when all my morbid curiosity had been spent I asked her what she thought was the best thing about sex. She got kind of quiet, and for a second I didn't think she was going to answer me. Then she smiled. 'In the thousand years I've walked the earth in one form or another, she told me, I've used sex for many things: to manipulate, as a bargaining chip, as a means of torture, and in acts of vengeance, among other things. What makes sex good is not what you do; it's how you feel. A night of inexperienced lovemaking with a man or woman you love with your entire heart is a million times better than a night of meaningless pleasure spent with the most skilled lover on the planet. Sex is empty until it stops being about you or your lover's interlocking body parts and becomes a declaration of the way you feel about each other. Sex is nothing if you don't put your heart into it. Without that, it's not worth getting all sweaty and staining the sheets. I've only met a few humans who truly realized that without a thousand years experience. You've known two of them. Does that answer your question?' I sat on the bed and she looked down at me, her expression completely open and sincere, and I nodded. She smiled, completely thrilled simply because she'd helped me, and pulled me into a hug. . . and for an instant, I remembered exactly what having a mom felt like. I'll never forget it."

Dawn trailed off as she pulled herself out of those thoughts and back into the here and now. She reached for Xander's hand and pulled herself against the shaking body beside her. Tears fell into her hair like raindrops as she laid her head on Xander's chest.

"I miss her so much," Xander choked out.

"Yeah," Dawn whispered as the tears she'd held back for what seemed like forever finally broke through. "Me too."

* * * * *

"And the amulet killed all of the Turok'an by manifesting a pillar of light through Spike?" Wesley asked.

"Yeah," Buffy answered wearily. "It burned him alive from the inside." She paused. "I could hear him laughing as he turned to ash while we made our escape. 

Wesley smirked. "He was probably struck by the profound irony." At Buffy's glare, he felt the sudden need to clarify his statement. "William the Bloody, feared Master Vampire, killer of two Slayers in the last century sacrifices himself so that an army of Slayers can live to fight another day. If that doesn't strike you as ironic, I don't know what possibly could."

"Huh," Willow mused from where she was cuddled up on a couch with her new girlfriend, Kennedy. "I never thought of it that way."

A couple of the new Slayers tittered nervously as the image struck them. "A vampire saved us all," Rona spoke aloud with a snort. "Almost makes me feel bad for not trusting the guy further than I could throw his skinny ass. Almost."

"Whatever power was in the amulet caused Sunnydale to collapse around itself creating a town-sized sinkhole. I wonder how the government will explain that one?"

"Probably the same way it explains two weeks of inexplicable world peace," Fred answered snidely. "With as big a lie as they can make up."

The conversation trailed off, and an uncomfortable silence descended on the group. The younger Slayers didn't know anyone from the LA group well enough to ask any questions and the rest of the Scoobies had let too much distance come between themselves and the members of Angel Investigations to be completely comfortable around them. Both groups wanted answers, but neither was willing to start the inquisition. Thankfully, this was solved by the next arrival.

"Yo, B. What's with the long face?" Faith taunted. "We just saved the world, again."

Angel smiled. "It's good to see you in one piece, Faith."

"I told you she was too stubborn to die," Gunn said, also directing a smile toward the raven haired slayer. "What kept ya?"

"I was checking up on a friend," she told Gunn. "All the injured are bedded down for the night. The slayers should be up and around in the next couple of days. Robin will need to stay a little longer. But everyone's outta the woods."

Buffy smiled in relief. "That's good to hear."

Faith smirked. "So what did I miss?"

"We've just finished filling everyone in on what went down in Sunnydale," Willow told her. A lot of their animosity had faded over the past week or so. They still had a hardy dislike for one another, but they seemed willing to put it aside in favor of the greater good.

Faith turned her gaze toward the Angel Investigations team. "Well you heard about the Fall of Sunnydale. Any questions?"

Everyone was silent for a few moments before Fred tentatively raised her hand in the air. Faith rolled her eyes at the childish display, but nodded toward her. "What is it, Fred?"

Fred backed off slightly when everyone's gaze focused on her. "Uh, w-where is the amulet now?" she finally managed to ask.

"Buried with the rest of Sunnydale in the sinkhole," Willow answered. Fred felt a little more at ease when Willow offered her an encouraging smile.

Faith nodded. "Anyone else? Faith surveyed the room. As she searched out all the familiar faces, she noticed a very glaring absence.

"Hey, where's X?" Faith frowned. "Please tell me you didn't send the poor guy off on a donut run."

Buffy, Willow, and Giles all looked around as if only now noticing their missing member. Faith's face reddened. "You've gotta be kidding me. You guys know where he is, right?" She looked at the Sunnydalian refugees' expressions and her fears were realized. Everyone from Angel Investigations jumped when the desktop in front of Faith was cracked in two by her fist. "I can't believe you guys! How could you be so fucking irresponsible?"

Angel frowned, not understanding Faith's extreme reaction. "What is it?"

Faith turned to him, fists clenched. "His ex, Anya was killed during the battle. These guys more than anyone should know what that does to a person. And they left him ALONE!"

A hand landed on Faith's shoulder, and she turned around only to be confronted by the calm face of Lorne. She wondered how a demon could look so reassuring. "Don't worry, doll face. The boy's not alone."

Faith's anger stilled. "What do you mean?"

"Finish looking around the room, honey. Who else is missing from this picture?"

Faith scanned the room again. Buffy and Willow saw the tension fade from Faith's frame before a smile came to her face. "Should have known. Those two are always looking out for each other." Turning back to the group, she pinned Buffy and Willow with a chilling glare. "At least one of you has a some sense."

Willow looked around the room and sighed with relief. "Dawn's with him," she told Buffy.

"Where?" Buffy asked.

"So now you care?" Faith asked disdainfully.

Buffy's face flushed as she stalked toward the dark slayer. Angel decided to step in before things got way out of hand. "This isn't solving anything. " He turned to Buffy. "They snuck off down that hallway over an hour ago when everyone else was unloading the bus." Faith saw Buffy's smirk as Angel turned to address her. 

"Faith, you and Lorne go check on them."

She also got the distinct pleasure of seeing her gape in shock after that declaration. But apparently the blonde Slayer had gotten smarter over the years, because she didn't offer any protest as she and the green skinned lounge singer headed down the hallway Angel had indicated. It took them a few minutes to get their bearings in the dimly lit room, but when they finally spotted the missing two they got a surprise.

"Oh, my," Lorne whispered. He looked at the two young people asleep on the sofa. They were literally wrapped around each other, Dawn's head on the boy's chest, Xander's cheek nestled against her hair. They still held hands, and Xander's other arm was wrapped around her smaller body, holding her to him. Their legs and sock clad feet were intertwined, their shoes abandoned on the floor. He could see the evidence of crying on both of their faces, but at the moment they looked peaceful.

"Xan's lucky B didn't come up here with us," Faith mused just as quietly as she also took in the scene. "She'd be killing him right now."

"Why?" Lorne asked. "They're so cute together."

Faith smiled. "You got it all wrong, Greeny," she told him. "They may look like a sweet couple all cozy like they are, but it's not like that. 

He grinned. "How can you be sure there's nothing going on between them, doll?"

"It's not that I don't think they're close," Faith started to explain. "The entire time I was in Sunnydale, I rarely saw them more than three feet from each other. And it's not that I think the idea is out of the realm of possibility. I mean there's really not that many years between them and I'm not stupid."

"But how do you know for certain?"

It was Faith's turn to smile. "Because both of them still have all their clothes on," At the Host's bewildered expression, the dark Slayer decided to elaborate. "This is a wake. The rest of the Scoobs, they have all the fire power, but these two are the group's soul. When someone dies in the fight, most suppress it, or try to reverse it, or ask the eternal question, "why?" These two remember it. Neither one of them would let their hormones get in the way of something that important."

"I'm getting that, honey. The energy in here is thick enough to cut with a knife," Lorne responded. "A lot of sorrow was brought to light, but there's love there too." Lorne sighed. "Man, what I wouldn't give to hear those two sing."

"How about we just let them sleep instead?" Faith suggested.

* * * * *

Everyone in the room looked up when the Slayer and the lounge singer returned to the lobby.

"Well," Buffy said after a few moments of strained silence. "Where are they?"

"They're sleeping," Faith retorted shortly. "After a fight like we had with no Slayer powers, I figured they needed the rest and left them to it." She'd have to remember to snag the two of them tomorrow, she told herself mentally, and make sure they weren't banged up too badly. Neither of the two of them were big with the sharing when it came to injuries. 

"I want to check on them," Buffy said, making a move for the door.

"Relax, B," Faith told her. "They're taking care of each other. That's what you wanted them to do when you convinced Xander to leave Sunnydale with her."

Buffy frowned. "How do you know about that?"

Faith shrugged. "It's a small house, B. You gotta watch where and when you have conversations. Besides, how do you think lil' sis got a taser?"

"Buffy sent Xander and Dawn away? What are you talking about?" Angel asked.

"B decided that she wanted her sister away from the First, so she convinced Xander to take her somewhere safe and stay there while they fought the big fight. He chloroformed the kid, and drove out of Sunnydale. Dawn tasered him and drove back. After that, B decided to let her sis hang around."

"Faith!" Willow exclaimed upon hearing the girl's summary. "How could you do that? Xander was doing what Buffy asked him to do, and she's Dawn's guardian. It wasn't your decision to make. It was Buffy and Xander's, and they'd made their choice."

Angel tensed, fully expecting to have to restrain Faith from going after the redheaded witch. He was totally surprised by the sly grin that came to the raven haired Slayer's face. By the look of Willow, she was startled as well.

"Oh, you think so, Red?" Faith asked, grin firmly in place. "Then answer one question for me."

Willow eyed her former enemy with trepidation. "Ok. What?"

"Who do you think gave _me_ the taser?" Willow's eyes widened and Faith nodded to the silent question.

"Damn," Gunn commented. "And I thought our lives were complicated."

Buffy looked equally stunned. "But. . . .but why would Xander do something like that?" she asked, her mind frantically putting the scattered pieces of the puzzle together.

There was no anger in Faith's voice when she spoke, just a sense of resignation. "If Dawn had wanted to run away, escape all the craziness of Sunnydale, he would have left with her and never looked back. But he would never hold anyone back if they wanted to fight. It's not his way. Thing is, he never could say no to you or Red. So, he did the only thing he thought was fair to everyone. He did your dirty work for you, but he gave Dawn something you never did: a choice." 

Faith was beginning to realize that some things she observed and took at face value, especially about Xander, went completely unrecognized by the others. She wondered when Buffy and Willow had become so focused on their own lives that they were blind to what he, and Dawn, did for everyone. She didn't fool herself into thinking she knew everything that he did behind the scenes to make sure that the Summers' home didn't fall down around the Slayer's ears, or get taken away by the bank. She'd seen Xander sorting through the mail with a methodical familiarity that spoke of experience, remove the utility, cell phone, and internet bills, and grab Andrew before heading off for the supermarket without a word or request for funds. The only indication she got that anyone had any idea of what was going on was Dawn giving Xander a smile and a hug before she helped the two boys unload the groceries. He wasn't making with the powerful mojo, or pummeling the First into submission, but she doubted their army would have been of any use if everyone were homeless and starving. But Xander didn't feel the need to bring attention to any of his actions, so she would respect his decision, for now. However, she could only watch him being blatantly neglected for so long.

"He would have left them?" The question came surprisingly from Angel. Faith met his eyes and nodded. "What's happened since I left Sunnydale?"

* * * * *

__

TBC. . . . .


	2. Conversations

Title: Closure

Author: Drake Roberts

Rating: R. When people get emotional, they tend to curse. Oh, and there's talk of eye gouging in this part!

Disclaimer: These characters are mine? No? Oh, well. I don't own them. The minds behind their creation do. I'm very thankful to be able to play with them though. Thanks, Joss!

A/N: Sorry for taking forever. I write slow anyway, and work's been just plain crazy lately. Thank everyone a thousand times over for all the wonderful feedback. I'm touched that you guys enjoy reading this so much. Just a warning though, this chapter's just as angst ridden as the last one. What can I say, the end of the show just gave me a few ideas. This is my attempt to exorcise them. I'll get back to my other stories eventually. 

* * * * *

"How did Xander lose his eye?"

Everyone in the room, including Faith cringed at the question and Angel knew more than before the answer to that question wouldn't be pretty. Not that he had expected it to be.

Buffy paled at the question. "Well, there was this fight. . . .and. . . ." Buffy swallowed the bile that rose in her throat at the memory. "The preacher guy, Caleb, the man I was fighting when you came to Sunnydale, that wasn't the first time I fought him. We attacked the vineyard in force once before. Caleb came in and threw all of us around like rag dolls. He killed two of the potentials in less than two minutes. We were totally outmatched, so we started to retreat. Everything was so hectic, I'm not sure what happened."

Buffy paused self consciously. Her previous words left a bitter taste in her mouth. "Xander was fighting across the room; he should have been able to get out. He must have went back for one of the injured potentials." 

Kennedy burrowed deeper into Willow's embrace with a shiver. 

"Caleb gouged Xander's eye out with his thumb." Buffy shuddered. "The way he screamed. I've never heard anything like it." 

Suddenly Buffy could sit still. She stood angrily and began to pace. "The next time I saw Caleb, he rubbed that in my face, told me to bring little Xander over so he could finish the job." Buffy's fists clenched at her sides in impotent fury. "I've never wanted to torture anyone worse in my life. Unfortunately, I only got to kill him once."

Faith watched the Angel Investigations team's reaction to all of this. Fred looked decidedly nauseous, and Gunn, though good at hiding it, wasn't much better. Angel looked. . . .well like Angel. He was a hard guy to read. Wesley had gone pale when Buffy talked about eye gouging, but after some kind of internal debate his look had switched abruptly to thoughtful.

"What is it, Wes?" Faith asked.

"He killed the potentials with ease?" Wesley asked.

Buffy frowned. "Yeah. What's your point?"

"Why didn't he kill Xander? He has no special powers to speak of, unless something has changed since the last time we've been in contact?" Buffy shook her head at the question and Wesley's look of perplexed suspicion increased. "Then why focus on Xander like that?"

Buffy shrugged. "I figured he did it to get to me."

Wesley wordlessly shook his head, dismissing that theory. "Did he say anything before committing the act?"

"I don't know," Buffy answered. "I was too far away to hear anything until he screamed."

"He said something, before."

Everyone turned to Kennedy, who tried her best to look confident even though everyone could see she wanted nothing more than to hide behind Willow until everyone went away. "Caleb grabbed him after Xander pulled me up and pushed me toward the exit,"

"What did he say?" Wesley asked, staring at Kennedy intently.

Kennedy swallowed heavily, before she continued. "You're the one who sees everything, ain't ya. Let's see what we can do about that."

Buffy gasped, Willow's eyes widened, and even Angel looked stunned. On the other side of the room, Dawn looked markedly ill.

"Oh my God," Dawn whispered.

Wesley turned and saw how pale the younger Summers had suddenly become. He started to comment, but stopped when Dawn shook her head almost imperceptively. Then she looked at the doorway, before quickly excusing herself. Wesley quietly thanked Kennedy for her information, then found a reason to leave the room soon after Dawn. He saw her sitting in his office and moved to join her.

"I take it you have something to add?"

Dawn nodded. "Earlier this year, there was a night when for a couple of hours I thought I was a potential. I found out it was bogus, but the next day, Xander and I, we talked about what it was like. You know, to be surrounded by people who were super, while you were just normal. But it's not the conversation we had that matters. It's what I said as he was leaving."

"And what was that?"

"Maybe that's your power, seeing, knowing," Dawn said shakily. She looked up and saw Wesley's growing look of shock. "Yeah, I know. Way creepy, huh?" 

Wesley nodded. "Yes, indeed," he answered, slightly unnerved himself. "It makes you wonder if there was some deeper method to this Caleb's madness or if his words were merely a quite large coincidence."

Dawn shivered. "When we talked, after the whole potential fiasco, Xander told me that he sees more than anyone realizes because no one knows that he's watching. And he's right. Buffy's the Slayer, Willow's an uberwitch, and Giles is part of a secret organization that was around for centuries before it finally bit the dust, but Xander's only human. One hundred percent _Homo sapiens_, and he's done just as much as everyone else.He was born in Sunnydale, raised there by a pair of really shitty parents, and then thrust headfirst into a world of vampires, demons, and hell beasts with absolutely no warning and no powers to fall back on. . . . ."

"A whipping boy, raised by mongrels and set on the sacrificial stone."

Dawn's head whipped around in shock. "Xander!" she cried. "Don't do that! My heart nearly jumped out of my throat."

"How long have you been standing there?" Wesley asked in mild curiosity.

Xander grinned. "Just long enough to hear the president of my fan club shout my praises." He turned to Dawn. "I'm not the only one who faces off against the nasties without the big guns. Dawnie kicks ass and doesn't bother to take names."

He reached over and ruffled the now blushing Dawn's hair affectionately. "Have you guys seen Deadboy?" he asked.

Dawn quirked an eyebrow. "Why? You feel the sudden need for brooding lessons? We'll just read some Sylvia Plaith and listen to Patsy Cline later."

"Nah, nothing like that. Besides, I think Sloping Forehead's more of a Hemmingway 'die in the rain' kind of guy anyway. So, you seen him?"

Wesley studied the young man for a moment, then realized he wasn't going to elaborate any further on his intentions for seeking Angel's company. "He's visiting Wolfram and Hart, most likely. He'll likely be gone until this evening. If it's important, I'm sure someone could drive you there."

"To the evil law firm?" Xander shuddered theatrically. "No thank you. I'll just pester him when he gets back." He spared another small grin in Dawn's direction. "I'm going to check out some of the architecture. See you later." With that, Xander wandered back into the lobby, closing Wesley's office door behind him.

"He's saved every one of us, Wesley, and I sometimes I think I'm the only person who even notices him," Dawn whispered looking toward the closed door. 

"He's fought side by side with some of the most powerful people in the world for seven years," Wesley informed the girl, disconcerted by how disillusioned the girl sounded.

"No, you don't understand," Dawn cut him off angrily. "I'm not talking about fighting demons. Don't get me wrong, I'd fight back to back with Xander any day, but that's not the point. Buffy, Willow, Giles, Faith. . . .heck, even Spike there at the end; they fight the good fight. They grab evil by the throat and choke the life out of it." 

A small smile came to Dawn's face when she paused in thought. "Xander's different. He fights, and bleeds, but not for the good of the world, or to earn redemption, or even because it's the right thing to do. His motivation's a whole lot simpler. He fights for us. Giles, Willow, and all the Slayers fight to kill the monsters. They are the reason Sunnydale is now a town sized crater. Xander saves people. He's the only reason most of us got out of Sunnydale alive."

Dawn caught sight of Wesley's dumbfounded look, and giggled despite herself. "Oh, come on, Wes! I thought you were smart. You listened while my sister recounted the battle. Do you think she knew enough about the school's layout to place people in the right strategic areas? Would she have taken the time to make sure Willow was in a safe enough location not only to cast her spell, but to have time to recover, and be able to get herself out of the building without having to go through an army of Turok'han? I mean, Willow was one of the big guns, and Buffy only had one potential watching her back."

"It wasn't the most wise decision, tactically speaking," Wesley agreed. "But sometimes things like that can't be helped.

Dawn nodded. "That was what I was told when I asked too, but I wasn't told this by Buffy. Come on, Wesley, think! Who would think far enough ahead to cover the skylights with blankets so we could ambush the ubervamps when we were outnumbered during the fight? Buffy doesn't think that way. She's a Slayer. A girl with an inner berserker doesn't worry about being overpowered."

Dawn saw the realization creep into Wesley's eyes and smiled. "Now who do we know that who would do all those things? Who would know the floor plans of the high school that well? I'll give you a hint. He helped rebuild it."

"Xander," Wesley answered. Even as he said it, he wondered how he could have so thoroughly underestimated the boy. Anyone who survived their entire lives on a Hellmouth was more than they appeared. 

Dawn nodded. "Yep, Xander. In the grand scheme of things, the survival of a couple of Slayers, a witch, a middle aged Watcher, and about two dozen teenaged girls probably doesn't mean much, no matter how powerful we are. But I for one am kind of thankful for his priorities." 

Wesley's brow furrowed. Seeing the young woman's expression, he did not doubt for a moment that she believed every word of what she'd just said. From what he'd observed briefly of her and the rest of the Sunnydalian refugees, he was inclined to take her at her word. The young girl he remembered from his short stay in Sunnydale had grown into someone wise beyond her years, almost uncannily so. One thing still puzzled him, however.

"What about you, Dawn?" 

She looked at the Englishman, puzzled. "What about me?

"What do you fight for?"

The smile that tugged at the young woman's lips had nothing to do with amusement. The strength he'd seen in her eyes bled away, leaving behind a vulnerable young girl. Dawn sighed. "I don't know," she answered sadly. 

* * * * *

Lorne was heading toward the room he'd stayed in ever since his club was blown up the last time by. . . .you know, now that he thought about it, he couldn't remember what had caused that last explosion. Something to do with Darla, he thinks. Why couldn't he remember? Slightly disturbed but truthfully too tired to care all that much, he shrugged off the reasons behind his club's demise and concentrated on what had stopped his progress to his bedroom. To his left was the entrance to a ballroom. This particular room was not regularly used by Angel Investigations, primarily because of the south facing floor to ceiling windows that lined the entire far wall. But as Lorne glanced through the doorway, he caught sight of one of their newest arrivals, Xander, if he remembered from Faith correctly, standing motionless in front of one such window, head tilted skyward, remaining eye closed. A tiny smile appeared on his face as he soaked up the sunlight and basked in its warmth. Watching, Lorne was struck by the simple tranquility of the moment. 

"Sorry to disappoint, but the buffet is the next floor down."

Well, so much for tranquility, Lorne mused with a snort. "Do I look like a people eater to you, kiddo?"

Xander turned away from the window. "Do you really want me to answer that?" The slight grin that touched the young man's lips softened any malice perceived in the words, however. When Lorne didn't answer his quip, he studied the demon for a few moments, tiny smile still in place but his eye serious. "Nah. You're not even purple."

That statement produced a short bark of laughter from the green skinned demon even as he winced at a acutely painful memory of that particular song screeched at earsplitting volume by a hyperactive Hrotyle a few years back. "Funny."

Xander watched him good naturedly for a few more moments before he seemed to come to a decision. He held out a hand. "I didn't stick around long enough yesterday for introductions. I'm Xander." 

Lorne took the proffered hand. "Call me Lorne."

Xander quirked an eyebrow. "Your name's Lorne? Seriously?"

Lorne rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah, I'm a walking joke mill. Laugh it up. What are you doing up here anyway? All your pals are downstairs eating us out of house and hotel."

Xander just shrugged before turning back toward the window. "You guys have a great view," he commented at length.

Lorne took the sentence as an invitation and walked over to stand beside the young man in the afternoon sunshine. The kid was right. They were only about four stories up, but the surrounding skyline was low enough that you could see half of downtown Hollywood in the distance. It wasn't the best view in LA, but it was quite nice. "You know, I never noticed," Lorne commented quietly.

Xander's eyes strayed from the window, and Lorne watched curiously as he began to take in the rest of the room. "I bet this place was gorgeous back in its day. I worked construction back in Sunnydale, but I never got to build anything like this. Today most buildings are functional, sterile even. This place was built so people could enjoy it. Just think about what went on in this room on any given night. Hollywood's rich and famous held secret rendezvous' at tables in darkened corners. Groups danced around the floor to the music of one of the city's hottest big bands. Honeymooners stood at these windows and gazed at the city lights." 

Xander trailed off into his own thoughts and Lorne let him. He didn't have to hear the young man sing to know he was dealing with something intimately painful. Just as Lorne thought he'd lost his partner in conversation to his memories for good, Xander focused back on the former club owner, with a melancholy sort of smile on his face. "It's small as ballrooms go, but I bet it had real class."

"The acoustics were probably phenomenal," Lorne added wistfully. He had been caught up in Xander's tale despite himself.

"Pieces of people's lives are here. They danced and laughed, maybe they even fell in love. But no matter what happened to them, for a few hours they didn't care about anything outside of this room." Xander sighed as he finished taking in the room. "It's a real shame that Deadboy never tried to fix up this place."

Lorne shrugged. "There's not much reason to now, kiddo. Angel Investigations just inherited Wolfram and Hart, from Corporate Evil, Inc. Why do we need the hotel?"

"Because it's your home!" Xander replied more harshly than he had meant to. He sighed. "I know it's sappy, and I'm definitely not the poster child of familial stability, but you guys are a part of this hotel now. You've built a family here, how can you just pack up and leave all those memories behind?"

"You visited Cordelia today, didn't you?"

Xander met the demons eyes and swallowed hard. "Yeah," he answered tremulously. 

He remembered entering that sterile hospital room and being nearly overcome by the profound. . . emptiness. Cordelia had always commanded the attention of the entire room. The still figure resting placidly against the white sheets, though still stunningly beautiful even morbidly pale, barely garnered notice at all. "At least, the part that's there right now."

"Come on, buck up pumpkin," Lorne told him in an effort to lighten Xander's mood. He could tell by the look on the one-eyed man's face that he was failing spectacularly. "As long as she alive there's still hope. Knowing her, she'll wake up one day fresh as a daisy and demanding a pay raise and a pair of Gucci sandals because we let her be seen in something as tacky as a hospital gown."

Xander tried to muster up a smile for the demon that was making such an effort on his part. It didn't work. He'd stood in the doorway of Cordelia's room for God knows how long looking for any sign of the girl he'd known since they were old enough to throw insults at each other. Then he'd walked to her bedside in the hope that a closer inspection might reveal something he'd missed. He wasn't exactly sure what he was looking for as he spoke to her about what it was like to share a one bedroom apartment with over a dozen teenage girls, and have to continually replace the Summers house's windows, but he never got a glimpse of that. . . .something that always told him that his greatest antagonist, and first real girlfriend was near.

Before he left, Xander leaned down and kissed Cordelia goodbye. If he was honest with himself, he knew that excluding Willow, this woman knew him better than anyone else on the planet. There was a time in his life that he'd shared things with her that he hadn't told Anya the entire time they were together, things that he'd _never_ tell Buffy. He'd loved her just as much as he'd loved anyone in his life, and he wished that he'd had the nerve to tell her before now. The others held out in the hope that she'd one day wake up like everything she'd went through was nothing but a year long nightmare. Xander knew better. As soon as his lips touched softly to her forehead, he knew without a shadow of a doubt that what he was looking for, that indefinable spark that made Cordelia Chase the tenacious, passionate, unflinching, force of nature that she'd become, that indomitable spirit that he'd been privileged enough to catch glimpses of in high school, was gone. He just hoped that wherever she'd ended up was better than here, and that maybe one day he would get to see her again.

But he didn't want to dwell on those thoughts right now. He'd mourn later when there one a green skinned demon desperately trying to figure out what he was thinking. "So, Lorne. How the hell did you start helping out His Broodiness?"

Xander was glad he'd asked the question when the lounge singer's morose expression evaporated, replaced with a wide grin that looked much closer to his natural state of being. It was kind of surreal for the carpenter to realize he was happy he'd cheered up a demon.

"Well, my young friend, that's an interesting story. Tell me," Lorne said, throwing an arm over a bemused Xander's shoulders. "Have you ever heard Angelcakes sing?"

* * * * *

__

TBC. . . 

Yeah, I know a kind of weird stopping point, but I want to give you guys something to let you know I'm still alive. Don't worry, more is coming.


End file.
